Something must end for a new beginning
So does the end justify the means to a new start? Or do you just live your life blazing through new beginnings all your life? Older now, I am suddenly I think at a crisis, both midlife and just life in a nutshell. All along I have almost blindingly lived through these 46 years with one justification to my existence, being true to myself and maintaining a full head of hair!
From a bastard in a suit, I became the lover, the exemplary dad and almost yes, human. My love for humankind increased, so did my socialist tendencies devoted to Che Guerra and his ideologies.
After living 40 years of mayhem, madness, alcohol and drug induced hard-core living my life, I never realised or thought that mortality will ever bring a question mark to my life. Everything I was before, I find now difficult to accept. I have seen many parts of the world, and albeit arguably lived in the two best countries in the world. The USA for six years and now six years in the UK.
My perceived success and legendary imagined lifestyle was that I was never afraid of new beginnings. I never ever limited myself, in my thinking or desire to succeed at any cost. I know and regret now my mistakes for I never aimed high or wanted to score goals in my motherland. It was always just one blur of fast forward to the highway of wine, women and song. The wine and song part of course way easier than the women. Of which now I am glad.
So as far as I was concerned, July 2005 was just another chapter in my life. Where I as usual managed to become a useless spouse but one great father and human being.
Guess what? It’s six years of my life in England now, and this whole thingy about becoming a great human being is very, very oversold and means shit. As soon as I became human, the money, lifestyle, and fun disappeared, being responsible is not fun.
So six years now in England, thought I had something to say. I don’t.
One thing I know and I leave you with another piece of useless well known wisdom.
The grass is never greener on the other side, but it can be bloody FUN!
I have one burning question though, slightly racist but I really would love having an answer to. Like we (me) discuss white people when they aren’t around and have a laugh, do white people do that about us when we’re not around?
Flaming liberal I am not, I am what I am and getting sick and tired of being human while finding out that Che is bogus, maybe it’s better to emulate Mahinda Rajapaksa, he has a lovely family, lives in a beautiful house/s, rules a country, has a retinue of bodyguards and some of the best marquee brand vehicles to be driven around in. He has well looked after his family and friends, and a majority of Sri Lankans are fiercely loyal to his style of leadership.
It’s too late for me, but I do hope he writes a book after he hands over the reigns of the country to his three sons. The younger amongst you will do good to emulate him, believe you me.